Monday, October 20, 2008

 

Kurzweil Cyber-Assignment

Find an essay you've posted and use Kurzweil to edit it. Discuss what changed for you as a writer after using this speech to text tool.

Comments:
Dalena Tran
English 201A
MW 1-2:50 PM
20 October 2008

The piece I had chosen to edit was my "Me Against the World" piece. The Kurzweil 3000 allowed me to edit my paper really well. I caught grammar and tense mistakes throughout the essay. I had also a sentence that I had written that contradicted my opinion, which would have been really important in a real essay. It had taught me to really take my time to check my work. I enjoyed today's class because I had learned so much about how important it is to double check your work. I tend to rush through my assignments and although I believe that it may be perfect, I can always be wrong. I enjoyed the Kurzweil 3000 and cannot wait to use the system to help me on my essays.
 
Dalena Tran

Note: I forgot to add my piece that was corrected ....

In Tupac Shakur’s lyrical song, “Me Against the World,” he presents to the audience a taste of his life. Tupac was a hip-hop legend to young generations across America. Although he was living a life as a well-known artist, Tupac wanted to present to his listeners that he was struggling just as much as anyone under violence and poverty. His life was a struggle, however, he believed that he was able to fight through it all. Tupac shows a struggle with society and how he had to live in that society, in order to survive. Everyday was filled with death and violence. He saw people “witnessin killings, leavin dead bodies in abandoned buildings Carries to children cause they’re illin Addicted to killin and the appeal from the cap peelin […] More bodies being buried -- I'm losing my homies in a hurry They're relocating to the cemetary” (Shakur) Never was there a day where Tupac was able to live his life without worrying about seeing one of his closest friend or neighbor pass away. His neighborhood was filled with danger that he was unable to escape from. The life Tupacc lived in was under poverty and violence. He believed that there was no way that he was able to fight through society. Although he was known to be a strong fighter, he struggled just as much as people in his condition. Everyday was surrounded with killings and violence. Tupac no longer wanted to face through the obstacle, however he questioned himself everyday if he was ever going to be able to rest, before and after death (Shakur). Society would continue to harm one another due to seperation of race. He noted that as an African American man, he was struggling through what most of the population of African Americans were facing. They were never given a break to have a voice. However, Tupac never gave up. He wanted to continue to fight for what he knew was his own rights. He was tired of the segregation and announced to his generation, “always do your best, don’t let the pressure make you panic” (Shakur). Never give up in what one believes in. All you can do is try and do your best. Although society may not take one seriously, it’s always a great feeling to know that you’ve tried and you know you will continue to try. At the end of the song he states “Keep your head up, and handle it” (Shakur). The life of a well known hip hop artist, Tupac Shakur, was not as glamorous and easy as many in today’s society may have thought of. Tupac struggled through every obstacle that the world has given him. Everyday was the same to him; death and violence. However, he never gave up the fight. He continued to fight for his rights and continued to defeat the world and it’s negative elements. His song “Me Against the World” demonstrated a fight against society and conquering it.
 
Melissa Mah
Professor Sabir
English 201A
1-2:50 pm
10/20/08

Edited essay
Me Against the World Freewrite
Thesis: Me Against the World
In Tupac’s song “Me Against the World”, portrays one man’s struggle in a life in poverty. There are many different crimes happening everyday in the life of one in the Ghetto. Nobody is there to help one another because in this environment, everyone is against each other. The line “Me against the world” is the way Tupac describes his life in poverty.
Life in poverty is a life in loneliness; someone is not always there to offer help when times get bad. Tupac expresses in his song “Could somebody help me? I’m out here all by myself” (Shakur). As the saying goes, it’s a dog eat dog world, to survive in this environment you have to be the last man standing. Even if you are on the verge of loosing, you are unable to call for help, because nobody is there to help you. Tupac wonders
“With all this extra stressing when will I finally get to rest? Through this suppression they punish the people that’s askin questions and those that possess, steal from the ones without possessions. The message I stress: to make it stop study your lessons, don’t settle for less even the genius asks-es questions. Be grateful for blessings” (Shakur).
Tupac wants to be able to stop living this life style, to finally break free of this and have a nicer life without so much violence. Society believes that the violence in the Ghetto will not stop because everyone is greedy. Since the people living in poverty do not have much, they tend to lose their temper more easily. “Everyday there are people dying, and the people stopped caring since it happens so regularly. But its not only men who die, women, and children get killed too. Its hard to bear with a life like this”.
Tupac wants to leave the ghetto and start a new life with less violence. But since he has experienced the violent lifestyle, this makes him stronger. He has learned not to trust people, hence the title of his song “Me against the world”. He became a strong and independent man because of his experiences.

Free Write

The essay i chose to edit was my "me against the world" free write. Using the Kurzweil tool i found that i had many grammar mistakes, and some spelling mistakes. This tool or program is very helpful in editing your essays. I think it is great because there is a read tool, where the computer reads your essay back to you, and i think that was what helped me the most, because this way i could pinpoint the exact error on my essay. I really liked using the Kurzweil 3000 program, it was really helpful and fun.
 
Phyllis Washington
Eng201A 1-3 MW
October 20, 2008

The piece that I chose was "what are good qualities of a good writer" I chose that piece because I felt that, that piece needed the most editing. It helped me find many mistakes and correct the piece to make it sound perfect. It helped to read it more then once and make sure that there were no mistakes. This program has the best opinions and suggestions for a perfect paper.
 
Lisa Ryan
English 201A
MW 1-2:50

I chose to edit my essay entitled, "Me Against The World." The Kurweil program allowed me to catch the missing as well as the mispelled words. I really enjoyed this program and kept wondering how I could save enough money to purchase it. This program is like having a tutor with you at all times. I'd love to sometime listen to my text as opposed to reading it. I want to learn more about annotating from this program. I also enjoyed utilizing the dictionary and synonym options.

I was impressed with my essay after hearing it read out loud. My essay was well put together and very detailed. The Kurweil program taught me the importance of reviewing my finished work and when at all possible have someone else edit it for me before I submit it. Thank you for introducing me to such a great program.

"Me Against the World"

In the lyrics from the song "Me Against the World" by Tupac Shakur, he invites his listeners to take a look at his life through his eyes. He shares what it feels like being poor, having to adapt to his surrounding, fight to survive and doing it alone in his dark world. His life is filled with destruction and desolation, there is rampant violence, people being killed around him, cops harassing him all of this because of the color of his skin. He wants to know could you image being him. It’s a life where he has to constantly watch is back and distrust everyone around him but remaining because that’s all he knows. He even admits that killing has become addictive for him. He sees the end to this life when he is dead, as he states, "hard headed bastard maybe he'll listen in his casket—the aftermath." Although this isn't the life he would not have chosen for himself, he has become accustomed to it. The way he lives is normal in his world; everyone is doing the same thing and is faced with the same consequences. He knows that he could face dire penalties and prepares himself for the worst, but deep down he wants the best but he doesn't know how to get it. He feels his fate is to take on the world the only way he knows how and he chooses to do it alone. And why should he change, when the world expects no less from him as he stated in the following lyrics: "what's the use, unless we shootin no one notices the youth." Tupac’s environment and life experiences have lead him to distrust everyone around him and he feels that he can only rely on himself to make it in this world.In his lyrics, he reaches out for help but only in his mind so nobody can hear him. He reminisces of his birth and wonder if this was his destiny from conception. How eerie his words are to me when I think about the struggles he must have experienced in writing these lyric. It’ shear genius. He identified himself as the one of the least regarded human beings and knew he would one day die as a result of his lifestyle as stated in the lyrics, "veteran, a villain, a young thug, who one day shall fall." There is a quirk of fate in his lyrics. Ten years after these lyrics were written I still see a great number of youth that are facing the same struggles in their lives. Some of them are hopeless, live in poverty and share the same level of paranoia about life displayed in this song. They too are stuck in a life where they are surrounded by dismal opportunities and prepare themselves for what has been passed to them from their communities or from the adults in their lives. They are simply responding to their environments and the expectation that society hold for them. This song was one of the most popular songs for Tupac, the young people loved it but I don't think they got the entire message that Tupac conveyed through his lyrics. In the end of the song I felt that Tupac’s was trying to send a message of deterrent. When he states, "Be grateful for blessings." Always do your best don’t let the pressure make you panic. This to me was a positive message and was meant for those who are headed in his direction or for those who see a chance of getting out. He wanted them to avoid his path and push against the temptations of the streets, dream bigger and to contribute to society in a positive way. Because no matter what, it will always be you against the world. It’s up to you which route you choose.
 
Lisa Ryan
MW 1:00-2:50
Professor Sabir

Kurzweil Edit/Resubmission
 
“Me Against the World”
In the lyrics from the song “Me Against the World” by Tupac Shakur, he invites his listeners to take a look at his life through his eyes. He shares what it feels like being poor, having to adapt to his surroundings and fight to survive alone in his dark world. His life is filled with destruction and desolation. There is rampant violence, people being killed around him and cops harassing him because of the color of his skin. He wants to know could you imagine being him. 

It’s a life where he has to constantly watch his back and distrust everyone around him. But he remains because that’s all he knows. He even admits that killing has become addictive for him. He sees the end to this life when he is dead, as he states, “hard headed bastard maybe he’ll listen in his casket—the aftermath.” Although this isn’t the life he would have chosen for himself, he has become accustomed to it. The way he lives is normal in his world; everyone is doing the same thing and is faced with the same consequences. He knows that he could face dire penalties and prepares himself for the worst, but deep down he wants the best but he doesn’t know how to get it. He feels his fate is to take on the world the only way he knows how and he chooses to do it alone. And why should he change, when the world expects no less from him as he stated in the following lyrics: “what’s the use, unless we shootin no one notices the youth”. Tupac’s environment and life experiences have lead him to distrust everyone around him. He feels that he can only rely on himself to make it in this world.

He reaches out for help in his mind but nobody can hear him. He reminisces of his birth and wonder if Thug Life was his destiny from conception. How eerie his words are to me when I think about the struggles he must have experienced in writing these lyric. It’ shear genius. He identified himself as one of the least regarded human beings and knew he would one day die as a result of his lifestyle. As stated in his lyrics, “veteran, a villain, a young thug, who one day shall fall.” There is a quirk of fate in his lyrics. Ten years after these lyrics were written I still see a great number of youth that are facing the same struggles in their lives. Some of them are hopeless, live in poverty and share the same level of paranoia about life as displayed in this song. They too are stuck in a life where they are surrounded by dismal opportunities. They prepare themselves for what has been passed to them from their communities or from the adults in their lives. They are simply responding to their environment and the expectation that society hold for them.

This song was one of the most popular songs for Tupac, the young people loved it but I don’t think they got the entire message that Tupac conveyed through his lyrics. In the end of the song I felt that Tupac’s was trying to send a message of deterrent. When he states, “Be grateful for blessings.” Always do your best don’t let the pressure make you panic. “This to me was a positive message and was meant for those who are headed in his direction or for those who see a chance of getting out. He wanted them to avoid his path and push against the temptations of the streets, dream bigger and to contribute to society in a positive way. Because no matter what it will always be you against the world. It’s up to you which route you choose.
 
 
 
Lisa Ryan
MW 1:00-2:50
Professor Sabir

Kurzweil Edit/Resubmission
 
“Me Against the World”
In the lyrics from the song “Me Against the World” by Tupac Shakur, he invites his listeners to take a look at his life through his eyes. He shares what it feels like being poor, having to adapt to his surroundings and fight to survive alone in his dark world. His life is filled with destruction and desolation. There is rampant violence, people being killed around him and cops harassing him because of the color of his skin. He wants to know could you imagine being him. 

It’s a life where he has to constantly watch his back and distrust everyone around him. But he remains because that’s all he knows. He even admits that killing has become addictive for him. He sees the end to this life when he is dead, as he states, “hard headed bastard maybe he’ll listen in his casket—the aftermath.” Although this isn’t the life he would have chosen for himself, he has become accustomed to it. The way he lives is normal in his world; everyone is doing the same thing and is faced with the same consequences. He knows that he could face dire penalties and prepares himself for the worst, but deep down he wants the best but he doesn’t know how to get it. He feels his fate is to take on the world the only way he knows how and he chooses to do it alone. And why should he change, when the world expects no less from him as he stated in the following lyrics: “what’s the use, unless we shootin no one notices the youth”. Tupac’s environment and life experiences have lead him to distrust everyone around him. He feels that he can only rely on himself to make it in this world.

He reaches out for help in his mind but nobody can hear him. He reminisces of his birth and wonder if Thug Life was his destiny from conception. How eerie his words are to me when I think about the struggles he must have experienced in writing these lyric. It’ shear genius. He identified himself as one of the least regarded human beings and knew he would one day die as a result of his lifestyle. As stated in his lyrics, “veteran, a villain, a young thug, who one day shall fall.” There is a quirk of fate in his lyrics. Ten years after these lyrics were written I still see a great number of youth that are facing the same struggles in their lives. Some of them are hopeless, live in poverty and share the same level of paranoia about life as displayed in this song. They too are stuck in a life where they are surrounded by dismal opportunities. They prepare themselves for what has been passed to them from their communities or from the adults in their lives. They are simply responding to their environment and the expectation that society hold for them.

This song was one of the most popular songs for Tupac, the young people loved it but I don’t think they got the entire message that Tupac conveyed through his lyrics. In the end of the song I felt that Tupac’s was trying to send a message of deterrent. When he states, “Be grateful for blessings.” Always do your best don’t let the pressure make you panic. “This to me was a positive message and was meant for those who are headed in his direction or for those who see a chance of getting out. He wanted them to avoid his path and push against the temptations of the streets, dream bigger and to contribute to society in a positive way. Because no matter what it will always be you against the world. It’s up to you which route you choose.
 
 
 
Post a Comment



<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?