Thursday, April 29, 2010


Catching Up

I noticed that some of the students who are not clear on what a social entrepreneur is, have not completed Frontline World assignment. This exercise will help students rehearse their essays on the social entrepreneur. It is not optional.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010



From here on out, students will develop templates for their errors and write an essay about their essay and recommend corrections. The essay is similar to the SPHE essays, except your papers are the subject and you are the audience.

Below I have posted samples of the templates from a student essays and a review of ellipses.

In the past students included a narrative on their revisions. Now, students will write an essay, similar to the SPHE essays including templates for the errors which I have listed on the front page of the essay. Students mistakenly think a C- is a passing grade. It is not. If you are lost because you have missed lectures and/or class we need to talk. I am here for office hours on Thursday after 10 AM in A-232 for a couple of hours.

I am also available by phone. My SPHE Second Edition disappeared yesterday. My name is in it, if you see it floating around (smile).

The revision template:
Before you write your essay, you will compose a sheet containing the errors identified in your essay. I have named them and indicated where they are in your essay. If you can't find them, let me know.

You must type the list using the following format:
First, you must write out the complete sentence(s) containing the error as the sentence(s) appear in the graded essay.

Then, write out the sentence as it will appear in your essay. Include ellipsis marks and lowercase letters if you use them. The goal here is to remove any unnecessary text, but be careful not to remove too much text. With some errors, you may want to use the entire sentence. Lastly, write out the corrected sentence as it will appear in your essay with ellipsis marks and lowercase letters.

Review of the rules for omission of text from the beginning of a sentence:
If the first word of the quotation is capitalized, ellipsis marks are necessary.

Original: After class I want to go home.

Pidd writes, ". . . I want to go home."

If the first word of the quotation is not capitalized, you have two options.
Original: It's not a secret that the people in this town are weird.

1. No ellipsis marks and no caps.

Pidd writes, "the people in this town are weird."

2. No ellipsis marks, first word capitalized in brackets

Pidd says, "[T]thee people in this town are weird."

SAMPLE TEMPLATE for the list the errors

Error 1: Confused Word

Complete sentence
"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing error with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who chose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Shortened sentence(s) containing correction with ellipsis marks:
"[W]omen who choose and have the opportunity. . ." (1).

Error 2: Redundancy, wrong word choice, verb tense

"In this book it has shown many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who chose and have the opportunity to become education" (1).

Corrected sentence:"Half the Sky shows many instances of education bringing fruitful things to these women who choose and have the opportunity to become educated" (1).

Error 3: Signal phrase and MLA for book title, unnecessary words, parallel structure

"In this book "Half the Sky," it has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as the empowerment of women" (1).

Corrected sentence:"This book, Half the Sky, by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicolas Kristof, has shown me that education is the key to tolerance, as well as, to empowered women"(1).

Error 4: Comma splice, parenthetical citation, missing and/or misplaced punctuation

"Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic, he states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten. (Half the sky 159)"

Corrected sentence: "Even the very wealthy Bill Gates has spoken out against the unfair treatment of women and its backwards logic. He states, 'Well, if you're not fully utilizing half the talent in the country, you're not going to get to the top ten" (Kristof and
WuDunn 159).

And so on . . .

Write an introduction which can be a paraphrase of the skills and goals for the course (the State of CA requirements listed in the syllabus, teacher goals and objective and your own). The conclusion can be something appropriate, perhaps even witty.

There are templates models for CASE errors on 138; POSSESSIVES on 240; POV on 162; PRONOUN AGR on 94, PASSIVE VOICE on 9 and FRAGMENT on 38. Some of the errors do not have models. If you are stuck, ask for assistance.

This is your final Pidd essay.

Today in the morning class we completed the Possessives essay. Many students did not bring the templates typed, which means they couldn't complete the essay. Students need to make arrangements to complete Essay Exam 2 over the next week. Next week we will complete Essay Exam 3: Parallel Structure. The subject Verb Agreement essay will be due the following week, May 10.

We will complete Grammar Exam 2 the week of May 10 as well.

For the second part of the class we worked on the Social Entrepreneur essay: Initial Planning Sheets, document searches, and outlines and then thesis sentences.

We also reviewed Parallel Structure.


Write the introduction to your essay. The first draft is due Wednesday, May 5, 2010. It can be a fast draft. The final draft is due, Monday, May 10 in class for a peer review. The essay is due to me Wednesday, May 12, 2010 with all the prewriting and peer review.

Monday, April 26, 2010


Assignment: Social Entrepreneurs: Engaged Citizenry

Open with the problem statement. Be descriptive. Define social entrepreneur

The thesis sentence names your social entrepreneur as a person who is addressing the problem identified in the introduction.

Body paragraphs
Background on the social entrepreneur and what brings them to the work. You can cite statistics here to illustrate the problem

Introduce the organization or business venture. Does the work grow out of the community? How do the SE and the community interact?

Are there any partnerships with other organizations and/or government?

Are there any peer reviews or industry reports?

What are the measurable results for the community? Share a story here.

What are the measurable results for the SE. You could quote the SE here.

Your essay needs to answer all of these questions; you can structure it like a typical problem/solution essay or cause and effect.

The person has to be alive. Try to find someone local, who is living in the San Francisco Bay Area or in California. The person has to have been doing this work for 10-20 years (the length of time is negotiable; see me).

You need to locate 5 sources on your subject to form a bibliography; you don't have to cite them all. The sources can be published or broadcast interviews, books, articles, and films or you can interview them yourself. The person cannot be a relative. You can work in groups and share data. In fact, I encourage it.

You will have three citations: 1 in-text citation, one paraphrase, and one block quote in the essay. The rest of the writing has to be your own. The essay should be 4pages (English 1A); 2-3 pages English 201. This does not include the works cited page or bibliography.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010



We skipped through the presentations in an hour and spent the rest of the class catching up on SPHE essays. Some students worked on section 7: Be-Verbs, while others typed the templates for the Possessives essay. It is an in-class essay. Students cannot write it at home, so prepare to write it on Monday, if you missed writing it today.

We're also behind on a few quizzes which we will get to next week: Be-Verbs and Possessives.

The presentations were interesting, students showed a clear grasp of the topics of the books as well as the author's motivation or reason for writing the books they shared. Tracey's presentation on Amy Tan's Joy Luck Club was the best I'd heard today and I sat through about seven or eight presentations on Tan: The Joy Luck Club and The Bonesetter's Daughter. Everyone did not bring their books, but most did.

Students followed the assignment and shared aspects of the work they enjoyed as well as how the work resonated with them, especially Tracey and Khan, who used their lives to validate the author's point. Overall the afternoon class's presentations met my expectations for excellence they continue to rise to.

In the early class, many students opted out, also some students turned in book report essays which did not follow the assignment: the subject and/or the author was not a woman nor lived in the SF Bay area. Don't forget to respond to student's presentations and reflect on your own: its strengths and areas you stand to improve for the final presentation for the Social Entrepreneur essay.

Look for emails from me with grades by Friday. If you email me assignments, be certain to send them to the correct address:

We are almost through Pidd, just three more essays: Parallel Structure, Verb Tense and student application of the Pidd-method to their own revision process in the final essay: The Social Entrepreneur Essay, if needed. Some students will not have to write the treatment paper (smile).

Start watching the Frontline World programs. We will watch one in class on Monday, April 26. See the assignment below for the specifics. Students can use the questions to develop their own SE essay. I think we are going to complete the semester early.

The San Francisco International Film Festival begins April 22, 2010 in a variety of locations: SF, Berkeley at UCB Pacific Film Archive, and in other locations. If you go to a film and write a reflection or review, you can get extra credit. There is a student rate.


The Lottery Cyber Assignment

I gave students a copy of a story called: The Lottery. This story was accompanied by exercises. Respond to the exercises here. Use the two examples of student papers on literature to reflect on your own essays if/when you get them back. You can post the response here. Did you write an essay or a plot summary?

Here is a link to the story:

How do you plan to revise it? Again, you cannot answer this question until you get the paper back. Students have until Monday, April 26, to get revisions to me. Don't forget the narratives and the planning sheets.


Responses to Book Talk presenters

Today we started our book talks. Please respond to student presenters: Shyann Kinzer, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan; Sodo, The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan; Sandy, The Bonesetter's Daughter by Amy Tan; Melvin H., A Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown.

Presenters: Talk about your experience. Please mention your book and why your choose it.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Frontline World: Engaged Citizenry Cyber-Assignment

Frontline World Cyber-Assignment Post(s)

Respond to 3 stories by 4/26 (start 4/21)Bring in headphones for the computer.
Post your Frontline World Responses (3) here.

Answer the following questions in your response to the program.


1.Who is the social entrepreneur profiled?
2.What problem did the person profiled identify?
3.What is the name of the organization they started?
4.Describe their relationship to the community that they serve?

• Why they decided to address this issue?

5.What is the local component?
6.How does the community own the process?


Book Talks

Prepare to make your book talks on Wednesday, April 21, 2010. Please keep your talks to at most five (5) minutes. Students can use multimedia for their presentations. We can play DVDs in the labs and there is a television in A-232 (10-12 PM section).

We will review Possessives and perhaps write the essay if students bring the templates typed. Otherwise we will review writing about literature and talk about the Social Entrepreneur essay and do one of the Frontline World cyber-assignments.

Students need to post their narratives for the Women's Appreciation presentation. So far, just two students have done so. There are also no student comments.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Don't forget to post your Women's History Month narratives at the assignment post dated March 31, 2010. Also, comment on another student's presentation today. Homework is to bring in your book you've been reading for the past month, the Initial Planning Sheet, an outline any notes you have for Monday, April 19. We will spend the first part of the class writing the essay. I will give you 60 minutes.

The second part of the class will be spent on SPHE revisions and Part 7: Possessives. We will write this essay on Wednesday, April 21.

We will spend the balance of time presenting our books. Please keep the book talk to 3-5 minutes max.

Homework, Frontline World videos and research on an entrepreneur to profile. I will have handouts. The author or subject of your book might also be an entrepreneur, if so, you can keep the same subject or author and expand in another essay for the final research paper.

I forgot to give students in the afternoon class copies of the "Finding Book Reviews and Author Biographes: Good Starting Places at the College of Alameda Library". You can pick up a copy at the reference desk (you can also check the COA Library website). I will put copies outside my office door L-235. It's a yellow sheet.

Check your email for grades if you didn't get your Half the Sky essay back. I will be checking on Friday for any Half the Sky essays still outstanding.

Monday, April 12, 2010


Half the Sky and other Assignments

Today class was a workshop session where students worked in groups on various essays: Half the Sky revisions, which are due this Friday, April 16, 2010 by 12 noon. Bring your essays to class each day this week. We will share essays Wednesday, April 14, so students can hear essays that worked well on the page: As, Bs, Cs.

Bring drafts of your book report essay to class for Monday, April 19, 2010. Final drafts will be due Wednesday (maybe) we'll see how the writing is going.

In SPHE we are finished with POV and are on Be-Verbs. I have a handout for you for the introductory paragraph. Make sure you get a copy.

What else?

Students also worked on their book report outlines and initial planning sheets (same questions, type them up).

I think this is it. We will work on these essays all week.

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